You will take this job thinking kids
Kids are my specialty
This will be so easy
You will take this job thinking kids are so fucking innocent
When you take this job you will be so innocent
On day one I advise you to take a look around you at this beautifully painted
Orange elementary habitat for young learners
You will only see it until June
Look at those faces
They are mostly clueless and willing to learn- you too should be willing
Be a bright-eyed kindergartener on your first day at work
Hold your head up, pay attention
The first day you meet her you will be introduced by the school counselor
Whispering “Trinity is a very unique case” and then pressing her lips together
Silent with apprehension
And you’ll think you are ready, former Disney character
You had done so many Make-A-Wish Foundation events
Broken barriers and parted the rivers of seriousness
You will follow through with this introduction blindly
And she will tell you about Baby Jesus as if her mom had brought a new baby brother home from the hospital over the weekend
And she will start to walk away mid-thought
To retrieve a beautiful painting she’d done
With vibrant colors- art is the only class you are not to assist her in
Be slow for she is easily frightened
Moving too quickly will result in terrors
And holding her arms up to protect herself, you will never be blind again.
For her exterior is scarred and scabbed and picked and bleeding
And seeing her in clear light is more than skin deep
There will be days she will tell you that the devil is inside her
She pulls her skin off to unleash him
In the bathroom, she will glance at the mirror and cry at the
freckled scars on her face, pleading for you to trim her fingernails
And mom feeds her anti-psychotics and Adderall because she can’t swallow the idea of parenting the result of her own drug use9
Your job is to watch these things happen
And hug her nine year old lifeless body while she screams that she’s going to kill herself
While administrators stand over you like dementors waiting to see results
Looking for results
Where are the results?
You will want to tell them that even the slowest rivers will push through a dam if you give it enough time
Her education is not race
And some day her shaking will become shimmering
There are days you will find razors, decorated with beads like jewelry sitting in her pencil case
She will tell you she has it ‘cause she’s stupid
On the last day you will take a naproxen and a deep breath to acknowledge your last day at her side
And when she asks you, curiosity in her angel blue eyes
If you believe in the father, the son, and the holy spirit
Tell her you believe in this Trinity.
This one right here.
They call me Spitfire. 