You will take this job thinking kids

Kids are my specialty

This will be so easy

You will take this job thinking kids are so fucking innocent

When you take this job you will be so innocent

On day one I advise you to take a look around you at this beautifully painted

Orange elementary habitat for young learners

You will only see it until June

Look at those faces

They are mostly clueless and willing to learn- you too should be willing

Be a bright-eyed kindergartener on your first day at work

Hold your head up, pay attention

The first day you meet her you will be introduced by the school counselor

Whispering “Trinity is a very unique case” and then pressing her lips together

Silent with apprehension

And you’ll think you are ready, former Disney character

You had done so many Make-A-Wish Foundation events

Broken barriers and parted the rivers of seriousness

You will follow through with this introduction blindly

And she will tell you about Baby Jesus as if her mom had brought a new baby brother home from the hospital over the weekend

And she will start to walk away mid-thought

To retrieve a beautiful painting she’d done

With vibrant colors- art is the only class you are not to assist her in

Be slow for she is easily frightened

Moving too quickly will result in terrors

And holding her arms up to protect herself, you will never be blind again.

For her exterior is scarred and scabbed and picked and bleeding

And seeing her in clear light is more than skin deep

There will be days she will tell you that the devil is inside her

She pulls her skin off to unleash him

In the bathroom, she will glance at the mirror and cry at the

freckled scars on her face, pleading for you to trim her fingernails

And mom feeds her anti-psychotics and Adderall because she can’t swallow the idea of parenting the result of her own drug use9

Your job is to watch these things happen

And hug her nine year old lifeless body while she screams that she’s going to kill herself

While administrators stand over you like dementors waiting to see results

Looking for results

Where are the results?

You will want to tell them that even the slowest rivers will push through a dam if you give it enough time

Her education is not race

And some day her shaking will become shimmering

There are days you will find razors, decorated with beads like jewelry sitting in her pencil case

She will tell you she has it ‘cause she’s stupid

On the last day you will take a naproxen and a deep breath to acknowledge your last day at her side

And when she asks you, curiosity in her angel blue eyes

If you believe in the father, the son, and the holy spirit

Tell her you believe in this Trinity.

This one right here.